Want to play a game today?

27 Nov

You’ve written inspiring mantras on post-its for their ensuite bathroom mirrors, breastfed exclusively for four years, and you hand-sew all of their organic clothing–but you’re not sure if your kids feel special enough.

What to do, what to do.

Here’s an idea: don’t write on their bananas. Put down that ballpoint pen, step back from your granite kitchen island, and think about what you’re doing. You’re writing on a banana–it’s the perfect storm of sweet and creep. Later, when you complain to your friends about how busy you are, remember this moment: you spent time you could have used to read or nap to write on a banana.

Also, as everyone knows, bananas that talk are pretty creepy:

That show provided me with a childhood’s worth of nightmares.

Most children who are given an inscribed banana will reach one of two conclusions:

1. The bananas love them and want to play with them.

2. Their parents are emotionally needy and insane.

I can’t get over the third banana–let’s play a game. Straight out of Saw.

One Response to “Want to play a game today?”

  1. Topsy February 25, 2013 at 5:37 am #

    I write my kid’s name on his banana using a bamboo skewer, so it’s labelled as his to take to school. Sometimes I’ll doodle a little train or airplane or whatever, too. Takes all of 30 seconds, and means he’s much more likely to actually eat it.

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