…but it will never be cold enough for a chest-puppetted dress like this.
I know what you’re thinking: it’s cute, but when would I ever wear it?
The only redeemable quality of this scratchy woollen nightmare is the quasi-practical monkey backpack, and upon closer inspection, it doesn’t even work.
When would this be appropriate? Who wants the Eye of Sauron, red-chimpanzee fabric on their butt, or cutesy boobs?
Unless you’re planning a very sweaty Halloween or a very crazy Christmas, like most of the trending fashion looks on Pinterest, this look shouldn’t make the leap from your boards to your closet.
And it’s 80s throwback sweatshirt at that. It really complements those acid-wash jeans.
So, she wants the cross to be bigger? I’m not really sure how this would be feasible, unless the sweatshirt was made into a full-body bedazzled jumpsuit. Shudder.
Every woman wants to dress like a fourteen year old. DIY tribal shorts, flip flips, hair down to shins…
Wait, wait, wait. Let me correct myself–every woman on Pinterest seems to want to dress like a 14 year-old. At least, that’s the impression one might get while browsing fashion pins that scream “I just hit puberty!”
A crop top definitely says youth. Just in case you wanted to really, really emphasize your jejuneness (yes, that’s a word), you could try this:
This shirt doesn’t just say, “I’m young.”It has a bolder statement on infinite youth, especially when worn by women.
Let’s imagine it on, shall we?
A couple of months ago, I found a truly terrifying pair of pumps on Pinterest. It seems that the trend has spread.
The perfect addition to any vampire costume, or a wardrobe mistake waiting to happen?
Or, the oxfords could be worn with the matching crime-scene pumps as a cutesy/weird couple thing to a Twilight premiere.
Sometimes, Pinterest’s popular page is a swamp of crazy nail ideas. Most involve owls, ombre, glitter or bows–or some combination of the four. These elaborate nail schemes are perfect for women with a lot of time on their hands and, perhaps, a few self-esteem gaps to fill.
Some nail designs say pretty and summertime, and some recall A River Runs Through It–not exactly catching the type of compliments the original pinner was looking for.
Don’t fall for this design hook, line and sinker before considering the connotations (yes, I’m done with the fish puns).
Giving you a big air-high-five right now, Renee.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is the best show on television right now, filling the vacuum left by the end of Mad Men’s fifth season. You know it’s true.
For the next few days, I’ll use quotes by Honey Boo Boo (Alana) and her family to title my posts. As I’ve said, sometimes Pinterest can feel like the Bible Belt’s subconscious personified. June’s family? Ditto.
If you’d like to fit big mama’s description of
herself her family (lopsided, obtuse, traingle, oval), please put on this unflattering poncho:
Peeing in a lake? Don’t want anyone to know?
This is the poncho for you; this stylish sundress will keep you covered while in the water, and that lovely colour will hide stains once you get out. See how satisfied the model looks? Crochet it now.
Just one in a series of nightmare ponchos found on pinterest.
Thanks to @KatySems for submitting this pin!
Do you need no-sew pillow covers? A door wreath for spring made of taffeta and eggshells? A painted washing machine?
Just because a craft is easy, something you can accomplish with materials on hand, doesn’t mean it’s worth doing. I have glitter and egg whites in my house right now. That doesn’t mean I need to go make myself a glittering summer souffle.
Similarly, having a beige throw and a slight chill does not mean that you need to make this poncho. Realistically, it could only be used as a racially-insensitive Pocahontas/Tiger Lily costume.
This belongs in the back of your closet with your poncho of chastity.
Always exercise extreme caution with “clothing” DIY projects that involve glue and blankets.