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Paternalism alive and well at GOP convention, on Pinterest

2 Sep

Wimmins: without constant guardianship by older males, we just crumble, amirite? Some pinners certainly think so.

Gah! Ferns and a babbling brook! SAVE ME!

Paternalistic pin

Is a boy who can’t even put a hat on correctly capable of protecting anyone from anything? From the look of this picture, the girl has bigger guns than he does. Clearly, she can take on those scary plants she’s turned away from herself.

More sanguine relationship advice from Pinterest’s paternalistic wing:

Pinterest pin saying protect her like a daughter, love her like a wife, respect her like your mother.

Ah, yes. Treating your girlfriend simultaneously like a child, a wife, and your mother. That doesn’t sound like a recipe for disaster at all.

All of these pins equating familial and romantic love really creep me out. Seriously. Anyone else?

Pinterest reacts to Todd Akin

22 Aug

Sometimes, Pinterest can seem like a glimpse into the Bible Belt’s subconscious; the social platform definitely tilts right politically and socially.  Pro-life, anti-Obama and camo wedding pins abound. With all the abstinence-only education pins, I thought the conservative communities on Pinterest would rejoice at the publicity around one of their own.

However, Todd Akin’s recent remarks on rape–generally in sync with the GOP’s anti-abortion platform–brought out an unexpected burst of anti-Republican vitriol. Yes, vitriol. Clearly, I’ve spent too much time watching election coverage.

Most pinners are aware of the three solid methods of birth control:

Birth control effectiveness: condoms, 99 percent, birth control, 99 percent, crocs, 100 percent.

Todd Akin, Republican Senate nominee and member of the House Science, Space and Technology committee (yes, really), believes all three methods are superfluous. The most effective form of birth control? Women can shut down pregnancies through sheer force of will!

“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” – Todd Akin

As opposed to an illegitimate rape, through which women get pregnant (serve them right!).

The people of Pinterest, like most people who possess even the slightest understanding of human reproduction, disagreed.

Angry Pinterest pins of Todd Akin

You can even purchase a legitimate rape kit inspired by Todd.

Screencap of a pin, Introducing the Todd Akin Legitimate Rape Kit. If you're pregnant, you were not legitimately raped.Under Todd Akin and the GOP’s planned health care cuts, however, this would probably be closer to the actual cost of a rape kit for women without health insurance–up to $4,570. Should bring the number of reported rapes down! Akin: tough on crime.

What happened to the brave few pro-Akin pinners?

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Delete it if you dare

19 Aug

The sheer number of bizarre comments on Pinterest indicates that the tool is less than intuitive. Perhaps it’s the automatic posting after hitting enter that trips up some people, or its similarity in appearance to the function for choosing a board.

Or, perhaps Pinterest attracts, more than any other social network, multitudes of innocent newbs who don’t really understand how to use the internet.

Case in point: this pin, found on a tattoo board created by someone who should really just settle on the word “hipster” on their forehead in a hipster font from Lost Type.

A screencap of a pin from pinterest, showing a kate moss cover of New York magazine. Comment reads chicken garbage bread.

I’m not a huge Kate Moss fan, so “chicken garbage bread” actually kind of works as a descriptor for me.

I also like chicken and bread, so I’m off to make this.

Lifesaver in an ocean of Instagram inanities

7 Aug

Pinterest is awash with “life advice” for fedora-wearing youths by fedora-wearing youths, usually in Arial laid over slightly unfocused photos. These pins are presumably created by DSLR-toting bloggers between tweets and weekends terrorizing Montauk.

You know the pins I mean: the half-baked skinny jean proverbs too twee for Postsecret that wind up on Pinterest’s popular page.

Sound familiar? If so, you’ll appreciate this.


Glitter and spankings

5 Aug

Apologies to everyone who thought this was a post on Twilight or 50 Shades of Misogyny. No, this is a post about the decidedly unsexy topic of parenting.

There’s a fork in the road of parenting that every mom and dad comes to: the way of glitter, or the way of spanking. Judging from this pin, many Pinterest parents have chosen the well-beaten path of corporal punishment (see what I did there?).

A screencap of a pin for time out glitter bottles, used ot calm a child down. Some have commented that they're a great idea, and someone has said what happened to real discipline.

More pinners bemoan the dearth of spanking below:

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Misogynists of Pinterest

4 Aug

One could say that Pinterest is a rather conservative social platform. The vitriol aimed at more liberally minded pins can be quite astounding, and when conservative men jump in, they bring their chauvinism with them.

TL;DR version: People who believe women should have access to birth control + people who believe humans should only procreate to produce children (or people who think that “private employers” means “taxpayers”) = an explosive comment war, and a prelude to the 2012 presidential election.

According to Jeffrey, sex should be for procreation only. That’s the way it’s always been, isn’t it? That’s why all women until the invention of slut pills in the 60s had about 15 t0 20 children each, OR had sex less maybe 10 times over the course of their entire lives. Yes.

Birth control (and the ability to control the size of one’s family) is a newfangled sin enabler that will surely bring down Western society. It’s provided no benefits to women or men, ever.

A screencap of a pin that says I'm an educated, independent woman, or as  Rush Limbaugh would say, a whore.

Careful, boys:

An animated GIF of robert downey junior in tropic thunder saying you're about to cross some fucking lines.

16-year-olds “trying not to get pregnant” shouldn’t be allowed birth control, apparently. It’s for married women only, because two teenagers would make much better parents than a married couple.

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Morons of Pinterest

2 Aug

Did you know that 82% of Pinterest users are women? It’s kind of hard to miss; anyone who’s been on the social network can tell that it’s female-dominated.

The other 18% of users are usually as civil as that awkward nice guy who somehow wound up as a guest at a bridal shower. Politely outnumbered.

Some men, however, can be as snarkily stupid as Pinterest’s female trolls. Ryan Marta‘s comments on this pin of a 21 year-old model, whose stomach (GOD FORBID) folds when she sits down, is a prime example.

Rather than commentary, I’m just going to use GIFs of Robert Downey Junior in blackface.

A pin of a woman sitting down, with someone commenting underneath, beautiful.

“Controversial”, eh? Ryan certainly thinks so.

Ryan's comments. It would be easier to visit the original pin to read them, simply click on the link. He says that he thinks all women on here must be fatties.


An animated gif of Robert Downey Junior in Tropic Thunder saying To be a moron.

A screencap of Ryan's comments on the pin. He's being an asshole.

An animated gif of Robert Downey Junior in Tropic Thunder saying An imbicle.

Ryan continues on his crusade.

An animated gif of Robert Downey Junior in Tropic Thunder saying Like the dumbest motherfucker who ever lived.

You reap what you sow, Ryan. Hell hath no fire like a woman body-snarked:

A flotillion of women arrive to defend the photo and attack Ryan.

Justice. Sweet, sweet internet justice. Ryan should repent immediately or, as that seems unlikely, get himself off Pinterest and onto a more “man” friendly platform.

Nature’s magesty: ready, aim, fire

28 Jul

You know why Bambi’s mother had to die?

An image of a pin of a beautiful caribou in a forest, with the caption hunting season underneath.

This is why. @#(*$ like this. When “beautiful and peaceful” turns into “hunting season.”

Next thing you know, they’ll be going after my bunny from another honey. Thumper, obvi.

Mandatory gun class for all children: a good idea?

27 Jul

Can you name two things that every American should know how to use?

If you guessed a defibrillator and a bicycle, you were wrong. The real things children need to learn in school is the Bible, and guns. Preferably, together.

Kids will just love learning how to shoot to kill!

An animated gif of stewie from family guy, a baby, shaking and holding himself on the ground, apparently traumatized.

Today, kids, we’re going to focus on aiming. Go for the jugular! This is the safety. This is how to load another round. Let me try to jog my memory: guns and schools… What could go wrong?

An animated image of Stewie the baby from Family Guy, loading a gun while saying I guess this is the night bitches die.
Here’s the pin:

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Worst pinner awards: “dont be mad that i have good hair and a tight body” edition

26 Jul

Comment wars like this one remind me why I started this blog.

Pinning an image of a woman’s body on Pinterest? Watch out! If that woman is deemed slightly fat or slightly thin, you’re in for a comment war:

  • Initial reactions: “Eat something/stop eating!”
  • Backlash: “Who are you to tell them to eat something/stop eating?”
  • Inevitable peacemaking: “Let’s all just love each other, okay? We’re all different sizes. Group hug.”

Usually,  these comment wars remain quite civil–like the Cuban Missile Crisis, for example. Differing viewpoints are handled with tense diplomacy, and pinners who disagree can usually (narrowly) avoid nuclear war.

Natalie Gendleman? Not so much. She went atomic on an Adele pin, unintentionally producing more LOLs than tears.

A gif of Adele laughing.

Natalie will demonstrate why she doesn’t deserve the mercy of anonymity in her comments, which I’ve screencapped and posted below.

Hey, Natalie? It doesn’t matter if Adele is fat or not, or whether Marilyn Monroe is fatter (?). The problem is your belief that appearance is linked to what’s underneath. Being fat ≠ being evil and alone, the same way that “good hair and a tight body” ≠ popularity, success and love. No one proves the former better than Adele; could that be the source of your petulant mud-slinging?

A moving gif of Adele waving to a cheering, massive crowd.

The original pin, and Natalie’s skillful starting shot:

A pin of Adele on a scooter, with these words superimposed: Adele, you've just won six grammies, what are you going to do? Ride past my ex's house and thank him. A nasty comment war follows. For the accessible version, its probably best to click this image and go read the original pin.

“Skillful starting shot” meaning an insult hurled with all the grace and accuracy of a drunken squirrel firing a antique musket. World, meet one of the most inelegant trolls on the internet.

The apparent inspiration for Natalie’s attitude? A clue from her Pinterest board My peeps:

A screencap of Natalie's personal pin board, My peeps. It has a picture of Blair Waldorf with the text superimposed: keep calm and put on your bitch face.

Oh, Natalie. Blair Waldorf and the Duchess of Cambridge are way too classy to spend their time being inarticulate fatists on the internet.

Natalie’s insults and the resulting backlash go on for over 50 comments. Some highlights for your Pinfuriating reading pleasure:

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