Tag Archives: diy

Upcycling Nightmare Week is starting soon!

6 Feb

Pinfuriating is coming back from a bit of a winter hiatus (I just couldn’t look at the ugly sweater pins any longer) with some epic downcycling fails. Get excited!

Two terrible trends collide

3 Sep

Tutu and camo have come together to create this unholy bastard child of an outfit, apparently intended for children. What did children ever do to you, Tyffani?

Screencap of a Pinterest pin of a pink camo and tutu dress.

Stuff for the kids? No. With a matching headpiece? HECK NO.

Scenarios in which this dress could be appropriate:

  • Paintball bachelorette
  • Wal-Mart
  • Flamingo hunting

Scenarios where it’s definitely inappropriate:

  • Anywhere else, for example, in a child’s closet, on a baby

Your morning ugly: Chinese Chippendale?

23 Jul

Ruffles and satin and flowers, oh my!

A screencap from Pinterest of hideous satin wall treatments, complete with frills

Why would anyone ever treat their windows so hideously? What did your windows ever do to you?

You’ll notice that this is just one layer of curtain on this window (a second curtain rod at bottom left). Presumably, the first thing you want a dinner guest to think when they peep through your windows as they wait for you at the door is: “Wow. Love those brown, teal and yellow drapes. Maybe I should’ve sprung for the vintage.”

These are curtains Gayle would make. What’s that? You don’t know Gayle?

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Some things are meant to be plain

15 Jul

Here’s the thing about decorating, which Pinterest would like you to forget: some things don’t need to be decorated.

That’s right.

Some things can just be left alone. Like the stuff you buy from Ikea, or Sterlite drawers, a staple of college students and people who do so much crafting that they have several drawers worth of glitter, scissors and trim to organize.

If you find yourself bored one Sunday morning, considering some DIY, do not turn your eyes towards mod podge. Never mod podge. The crafts that your parents and teachers had you do to keep you amused when you were a child? Not an acceptable time-waster as an adult. That’s why people invented jogging, the Oprah network, House Hunters: International marathons and meditating.

An image of sterlite plastic drawers, bedazzled with mod podge on one side, and tape on the other.

Just because something is plain does not mean that you need to pick up your bedazzler and spray Easter all over it. No, don’t “follow your bliss.” If your bliss leads you here, find a new one that doesn’t involve crafting materials for the under-5 set.

Yes, it’s chicken week on Pinfuriating.

11 Jul

Once again, I hope you’re not eating right now. Will this post cause me to lose some viewers? Yes. But the pin was just too disgusting to pass by.

Side note: this is as disgusting and off-colour as Pinfuriating will ever get. Gird your loins, and stomach:

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Yogurt made out of yogurt, or why “homemade” is usually a misnomer

12 Jun

Why do I have a problem with consumers pretending to be producers? Because it’s completely contrived, pretentious, and masks the fact that most Western humans live off the earth like vampires, never putting back what they take out–no matter how much we “make ourselves”. Our economy is no longer based on manual labour, but ideas; we sent the manual labour east. Under a deluge of studies and infographics extolling manual labour’s benefits for mind and body, we’re maybe feeling a bit… stupid.

This drives Pinterest users to do things like making headboards out of pallets, paper out of paper, or yogurt out of yogurt.

What should we call this new phenomenon – souped-up greenwashing? Manufacturewashing?

An image of Don assembling a playhouse in Mad Men

The good ol’ days. Image via Valetmag.com.

Here’s the phenomenon from the commercial perspective, taken from Mad Men, Season 4, Episode 9, “The Beautiful Girls”:

“These domesticated suburbanites still have a primitive desire to get their hands dirty. But, they’ve become so far removed from nature, that they can’t. They don’t know how to hunt, how to swing a hammer, or fix their cars. What our findings show is that this demographic will spend a good amount of money for the satisfaction of being useful with their hands.”

Hence, companies sell more and more, while consumers are given the impression that they’re buying less, and “making” things themselves. Case in point: yogurt made out of yogurt. Fauxlocal1 tomfoolery at it’s most infuriating.

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Blue paper, made out of blue paper

9 May

You had four hours to yourself today – what a treat! The kids are at soccer, you’ve already scrubbed the house, and you have a Sunday brunch to plan. The tablescape is finished, and now it’s time for the invites.

Don’t know what I mean by “tablescape”? See the latter half of this video.

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