Tag Archives: pinsight

When I smoke a nasty Pinterest commenter on this blog…

9 Oct

… And that commenter finds the post, I’m just like:

Feels good.

That time 1D fans took over Pinterest

6 Sep

First they came for X-Factor, and I didn’t speak out because, whatever, I don’t watch that show.

Then they came for Twitter, and I didn’t tweet out because I didn’t want to incur their wrath. I like my trending topics news related, not overwhelmed by prepubescent games of red rover between boy band fan groups, but their ability to swarm-attack is terrifying.

A screencap of worldwide trending topics on Pinterest, split between Justin, 1D makes me smile, Justin gets sexier everyday, and Justin has a flawless smile.Then they came for Pinterest, and there were no other platforms I could use to complain where they wouldn’t overwhelm me.

You know who I’m talking about: One Direction fans.

Pardon me, 1D. Like a swarm of insatiable baby locusts, they will not be satisfied until every platform on earth has been consumed by their bubblegum pop and bitter wars of attrition with Beliebers and The Wanted fans.

I first noticed their presence when these pins became more and more plentiful on the popular page. These pins are called One Direction Facts, or two seconds of my life that I would very much like to get back but, tragically, cannot.

The only way to dull my pain is to inflict it upon you, dear readers. Apologies in advance.
Screencap of a pinterest pin of a one direction fact.

This is stupid, Jessica.

I now know that “Zayn” and “Liam” once had a fight that was resolved with a hug. Thinking about what other more relevant factoid was pushed out of my brain to make room for that one upsets me. The capital of South Dakota? The year Canada was founded? I’ll never know.

Oh, and a note for Amy: resolving a conflict with a hug doesn’t make you gay, it makes you sane, adorable, and probably British.

Screencap of a pinterest pin of a One Direction fact, stating that Neil's first tweet was to Justin Bieber.

Niall’s early olive branch, sadly, did not lead to a lasting peace between the Bieber and 1D factions.

Screencap of a pinterest pin of a one direction fact, saying that LIam takes long showers. EW.

Why? WHY?

Things I didn’t need to know, #98137. I’m going to go wash out my brain and eyes with soap in the… sink.

When I’m lost in an endless stream of cutesy engagement or wedding pins

29 Aug

Y’all smell like hairspray and desperation over there

28 Aug

If Pinterest had a smell, it might just be hairspray and desperation. Desperate Pinterest stalking? We’ve all done it; Pinterest definitely has equivalents to the needy “I FOLLOW BACK” crowd on Twitter.

How can you demonstrate your admiration for someone’s pins without creeping anyone out? No idea, but my progression through Pinterest’s levels of affection is as follows.

When I give someone a like, it’s like:

An SNL character gives another a flirtatious poke. Animated Bill Hader and Seth Myers gif.

When I leave a gushing comment on one of their pins:

An SNL character gives another a kiss on the cheek. Animated gif with Bill Hader and Seth Myers.

When they don’t respond to my overtures, and I follow all of their boards anyway:

One SNL character kisses the other, the other clearly isn't into it. Animated gif with bill hader and seth meyers.

Yeah, sometimes I get overenthusiastic like that. Totally failed on the “not creeping anyone out” front. Unrequited Pinterest love is painful. TLC: why you no follow me back?

All GIFs are from this awesome Tumblr.

Part of a week long series of posts with titles inspired by Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, because, why not?

Our hair has always been washed in the kitchen sink

26 Aug

When you have to get your hair did in the kitchen sink like Alana’s mama, and your preferred style involves a metric ton of hydrogen peroxide, mishaps can occur.

For example, you could end up looking like the spawn of a hipster and one of those plastic trolls.

Hayley, this “ombre” hairstyle is literally trolling you. Lesson learned? Never re-pin anything from a Tumblr entitled “velvet gh0st.”

A pinterest screencap of a girl with bleached blue and pink hair.

The shoes and knee socks say girly innocence, and the sweatshirt dress, hair and headpiece say Very Mary Kate has escaped rehab and fallen into a vat of bleach. Ombre has never looked less beautimous.

Part of a week long series of posts with titles inspired by Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, because, why not?

Pinterest reacts to Todd Akin

22 Aug

Sometimes, Pinterest can seem like a glimpse into the Bible Belt’s subconscious; the social platform definitely tilts right politically and socially.  Pro-life, anti-Obama and camo wedding pins abound. With all the abstinence-only education pins, I thought the conservative communities on Pinterest would rejoice at the publicity around one of their own.

However, Todd Akin’s recent remarks on rape–generally in sync with the GOP’s anti-abortion platform–brought out an unexpected burst of anti-Republican vitriol. Yes, vitriol. Clearly, I’ve spent too much time watching election coverage.

Most pinners are aware of the three solid methods of birth control:

Birth control effectiveness: condoms, 99 percent, birth control, 99 percent, crocs, 100 percent.

Todd Akin, Republican Senate nominee and member of the House Science, Space and Technology committee (yes, really), believes all three methods are superfluous. The most effective form of birth control? Women can shut down pregnancies through sheer force of will!

“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” – Todd Akin

As opposed to an illegitimate rape, through which women get pregnant (serve them right!).

The people of Pinterest, like most people who possess even the slightest understanding of human reproduction, disagreed.

Angry Pinterest pins of Todd Akin

You can even purchase a legitimate rape kit inspired by Todd.

Screencap of a pin, Introducing the Todd Akin Legitimate Rape Kit. If you're pregnant, you were not legitimately raped.Under Todd Akin and the GOP’s planned health care cuts, however, this would probably be closer to the actual cost of a rape kit for women without health insurance–up to $4,570. Should bring the number of reported rapes down! Akin: tough on crime.

What happened to the brave few pro-Akin pinners?

Continue reading

Take one step away from your skinny no foam extra hot one pump latte

22 Aug

Starbucks can be awesome sometimes.

Screencap of a pinterest pin that's a snapshot of a starbucks menu offering butter beer frappucinos. how awesome.

The chain took a reasonably healthy drink–coffee–and turned it into the whipped cream topped sugar high I need every morning to fully open my eyes. But, can you love Starbucks too much?

Addiction Level 1: Denial

I don’t even need Starbucks! I’ll make it at home! It’s the same, right? It’s the same. Let’s just make a quick pit stop at their drive-through so we can compare.

Addiction Level 2: Identification

I don’t just love Starbucks, I am Starbucks.

Screencap of a pinterest pin of nails painted with starbucks logos, clutching a starbucks bag of sugar.

These talons will help you better grip the signature sugar packets, which your already syrup-loaded drink doubtlessly requires. Notice that the nails pay homage to logos past and present.

Addiction Level 3: True Love

Symptoms include multiple visits per day, organizing one’s social life around Starbucks, keeping the cups to assemble a shrine, and taking creepy Instagram-y pics like these to frame and place above the shrine.

Continue reading

Glitter and spankings

5 Aug

Apologies to everyone who thought this was a post on Twilight or 50 Shades of Misogyny. No, this is a post about the decidedly unsexy topic of parenting.

There’s a fork in the road of parenting that every mom and dad comes to: the way of glitter, or the way of spanking. Judging from this pin, many Pinterest parents have chosen the well-beaten path of corporal punishment (see what I did there?).

A screencap of a pin for time out glitter bottles, used ot calm a child down. Some have commented that they're a great idea, and someone has said what happened to real discipline.

More pinners bemoan the dearth of spanking below:

Continue reading

Morons of Pinterest

2 Aug

Did you know that 82% of Pinterest users are women? It’s kind of hard to miss; anyone who’s been on the social network can tell that it’s female-dominated.

The other 18% of users are usually as civil as that awkward nice guy who somehow wound up as a guest at a bridal shower. Politely outnumbered.

Some men, however, can be as snarkily stupid as Pinterest’s female trolls. Ryan Marta‘s comments on this pin of a 21 year-old model, whose stomach (GOD FORBID) folds when she sits down, is a prime example.

Rather than commentary, I’m just going to use GIFs of Robert Downey Junior in blackface.

A pin of a woman sitting down, with someone commenting underneath, beautiful.

“Controversial”, eh? Ryan certainly thinks so.

Ryan's comments. It would be easier to visit the original pin to read them, simply click on the link. He says that he thinks all women on here must be fatties.


An animated gif of Robert Downey Junior in Tropic Thunder saying To be a moron.

A screencap of Ryan's comments on the pin. He's being an asshole.

An animated gif of Robert Downey Junior in Tropic Thunder saying An imbicle.

Ryan continues on his crusade.

An animated gif of Robert Downey Junior in Tropic Thunder saying Like the dumbest motherfucker who ever lived.

You reap what you sow, Ryan. Hell hath no fire like a woman body-snarked:

A flotillion of women arrive to defend the photo and attack Ryan.

Justice. Sweet, sweet internet justice. Ryan should repent immediately or, as that seems unlikely, get himself off Pinterest and onto a more “man” friendly platform.

Pins Snooki Would Like: Part 2

31 Jul

Should I rename this blog, simply, Things Snooki Would Like? Perhaps.
An image of a leopard toilet seta cover, screencap from a pin on Pinterest.

Pinterest is actually stuffed with products the entire Jersey Cast would endorse, and many of them can be found on this “All Things Cheetah/Leopard” board.


An image of a bunny with cheetah print superimposed, looking like some sort of serengeti bunny.

The elusive bunny of the serengeti submits to a rare photograph. Later, unfortunately, that bunny was captured and turned into this:

Continue reading


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