This is my KitchenAid, given for you. Add the whisk attachment in remembrance of me.
Sweet Jesus. Sweet, sweet Jesus. Proverbs 23:2, anyone?
Don’t roll your eyes at me, cake Jesus.
It’s an important section of the Bible, one often ignored (Proverbs 31 is the on-trend gospel): “Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.” It makes me wonder: is fondant really the best way to remember the crown of thorns?
I have nothing against Jesus, really. These saviour cupcakes are a perfect addition to any Christmas celebration, and will help teach your children just how delicious He is.
BRB, going to hell (but this time, for blasphemy!).
When will the sewage trend end?
Camo, sorry, camouflage. When will the camouflage trend end?
I’m the sort of person who thinks she can get through life with a Swiss Army knife and a tarp. So, when I see seemingly superfluous implements like the kiwi flayer or the kale grinder, I squirm. On the one hand, a defining feature of humanity is our use of tools.
Behold, the dawn of man:
On the other hand, do you really thinkour hands, complex machines with 27+ bones and 17n muscles each that scientists can’t even replicate now, need the help of a plastic banana slicer?
Not sure if perfect banana slices are really worth a) the extra cupboard space that this tool would take up, and b) the shame of owning a banana slicer.
Apparently, the millions of years of evolution of human hands, and the thousands of years humans have used those hands to wield knives, is nothing compared to the 10 seconds in product development it took to come up with this:
In a blow to the fetal personhood movement, these cookies capture what a baby looks like before it exits the womb as seen through an ultrasound.
The “fetus” icing kind of looks like a cartoon ghost that fell into a blender.
And you thought cookies couldn’t deal a blow to the fetal personhood movement.
These cookies are perfect for your next Halloween baby shower, or Democrat convention.
It’s easy to feel remorseful about one’s food choices. However, we can’t always pick the organic quinoa over Kraft Mac’n’Cheese with hot dog slices, can we?
Look in your fridge. Feel guilty? Now, look at the pin below.
BOOM! Guilt gone. Whenever you make a bad food choice, just remember: at least it wasn’t a whole turkey wrapped in bacon.
Unless, of course, you do eat a whole turkey wrapped in bacon. In which case, I applaud you.
Soup. Warm, comforting, nutritious soup. The sort of thing you eat when you’re sick, cold, or on one of your diets again.
I know those diets: “No pasta for me! Just soup tonight. No, I love soup. I really do.”
This isn’t soup, Vicki. This is obesity in a crock pot.
Where did the recipe deviate from soup? Somewhere between the 1 pound of ground beef and the 2 POUNDS OF VELVEETA. That’s 2,588 calories worth of Velveeta, in case you were wondering. 97 grams of fat. YUMMY!
Am I being too harsh? The 2 pounds of shredded hash browns provide some Vitamin C. Oh, and I’m sure the 30 ounces of chicken broth do something towards a soup-like consistency.
At least Vicki had the sense to file this gem under “crafts”, rather than “recipes.” If Sandra Lee and Paula Deen got together, this is exactly the sort of “food” that they would whip up.